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CLAIM

 

Mr. Tofuso, on behalf of Hiroshi-Hikarus Ltd., may I express my personal condolences on learning of the loss of your delightful home and the destruction of your car last Thursday. I am glad that you and your wife and your three children escaped the disaster relatively unscathed.

In response to your inquiry, I am sure you appreciate that thousands of similar claims and requests have been made, and I have regrettably had to send the same reply to each and every one of you. We do not pay out third party insurance policies on acts of Godzilla.

 

Yours sincerely,

 

Hiroshi-Hikarus,

 

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