DEVELOPMENT
Gentlemen, and ladies of the ID Inspectorate for North Manchester – welcome. Please do not repeat a word of what we discuss now, or makes notes of any kind. What I am about to say must be kept entirely off the record.
Our friends in the Council have a proposition for us, a lucrative one. They want to build a new highly profitable trading estate in Nuthurst, near Moston. There is a problem, however. The estate is occupied. There are terraced houses there on what was once the Miner’s Estate. We need to get rid of the people before the bulldozers can move in and reduce the estate to rubble and landfill. That’s where you come in.
We could of course just tell the people there to move out and that we want to buy their houses, but that costs money, and people tend to get territorial and start protesting, and petitioning. Before we know it they’ll be chaining their children to the ground in the path of the bulldozers and singing ‘We Shall Not Be Moved.’
They would be moved of course, by force if necessary, but media pictures of policemen dragging tearful pensioners off their doorsteps don’t do us much good. We have therefore decided that our campaign in Nuthurst will be a little more covert.
You are invited to this meeting because your beats take you around and into the Nuthurst Estate. We need a full census and profile of everyone there. If anyone has black marks against their name on the NIR, get us a print out of it. If a child rides a bike on the pavement, serve an ASBIO and mark the details up against the parents. If anyone hasn’t been ID checked lately, pay them a visit, or alter their file on the NIR to indicate that they have been avoiding your inspections by walking through back entry ginnels, and hiding whenever they see your uniform. It will be nigh on impossible for them to prove otherwise.
We are aware of three or four male bachelors on the estate with impeccable reputations. See to it that their data gets linked to the Paedophile Registers. They’ll have a hard time convincing anyone otherwise.
Once we have the dirt on the community there, we’ll leak the information to the media, names and all. Property prices in Nuthurst will fall to next to nothing. No one will want to live thee. If people start moving out, make sure they get rehoused easily. Encourage an exodus.
An Englishman’s home is his castle, but only until it gets repossessed. The Nuthurst estate belongs to industry gentlemen. Help industry secure it, and you’ll see a very generous Christmas Bonus this season. Now off to work with you, and remember, not a word of this to anyone….
© Copyright. Arthur Chappell
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