LICENSE
REVOKED.
Official Government Statement to all Greater Manchester
ID Card Inspection Unit bearers. 19th June 2015.
It is hereby recorded that Mr. Harold Blake 5575766656758078, of the Golden Herring Fishmongers in Levenshulme has had his trading licenses and permission to use ID Card Inspection units withdrawn indefinitely. A number of other machine bearers will face similar disciplinary action. The reasons for this are as follows.
Mr. Blake has been in use of a Card reader since they were first issued to tradesmen in Levenshulme last year. For some time, he used the devise properly, to check up on the identities of his customers and report anyone attempting to short-change him, or who appeared to be drunk and disorderly.
Things changed when a celebrity happened to make use of the shop. David Crowther 8878674653543543, star of popular Manchester based television Soap Opera Campus – set in the University, happened to pop into the shop for a Mackerel. Mr. Crowther was naturally elated to meet one of his idols face to face, and he naturally did his duty by taking the good man’s ID reading and logging it properly onto his machine.
However, having secured said man’s ID in this way, Mr. Crowther began to update the actor’s files with glowing testimonials on his performances in the show. He started to add pictures, and wrote his own fanzine. Such hero worship can be done via the Internet. The ID sites for well-known television, sport and media pundits are no different to those of other Manchester citizens. They are there for providing factual information and statements regarding their current activity in relation to any given ID check. They are not laces to write adorational poems, and to give thumbs up to a glowing performance in any given episode of a show the actor happened to appear in.
The statement by the show’s producer’s that Mr. Crowther is requesting a sharp raise for his performances before the next season is produced, and therefore happens to be considered being killed off is a very important file. It cannot however be seen at a glance by Media Executives because of Mr. Crowther’s endless stream of consciousness fan mail.
We have therefore had no option but to ask that Mr. Crowther’s facilities be closed down or placed under new management with immediate effect.
If you have been using your ID Card Inspection devises in such a way please desist immediately, or you may well find your own right to carry such a machine will be withdrawn.
© Copyright. Arthur Chappell
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