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ME ME ME PEOPLE.

 

You know someone like this for sure. You have a party, or meet with a group of friends, but somehow it is the one crashing bore there who seems to hover over you, and take over every conversation you have any involvement with.  If the group is discussing anything at all, he (or she) will try to prove he knows the subject better than anyone else by shouting everyone down, correcting the slightest observational or grammatical error, etc. If the tosser doesn’t understand the subject at all, he will simply change the subject, or take the thread of conversation off at a tangent of his own and continue to be highly opinionated.  His favourite topic of conversation is of course, himself, though he will pick up on anything that anyone else has studied or has genuine knowledge of – if you have a degree in philosophy, he will throw words like epistemology, ontology and objectivity at you constantly, with no context, or challenge you to a quiz, using obscure terms and half-baked facts he has stock-piled for such occasions, trying to prove and show that he knows the subject more than you do, and make you feel as stupid and inadequate as he actually is.  He purposely swallows dictionaries just to be able to bandy big words and concepts about, in a very empty and shallow way.

 

Nit-picking, quibbling every detail, insisting on every ounce of personal attention, telling the most jokes, laughing loudly at his own gags and often finishing or poo-pooing any joke told by others, the crashing bore is pompous, and supercilious or suffering from rampant narcissism, and egotism. He has a balanced personality, having chips on both shoulders. He simply cannot shut up.

 

Sometimes, a party will have people in different groups and clusters, and he will somehow invade each and every one of these, often rudely interrupting to join in and take over the conversation. He moves like a train without brakes. Once a thread of conversation has been silenced, he moves to another cluster of guests and does the same thing again. By the time he returns to the group you are in, the conversation has just found its feet again as he arrives – not knowing why everyone seems so happy, he will insist on a recap of what has been discussed in his absence – this recapping either causes someone to break away from the main group discussion, or kills the mood of the conversation itself.  Somehow, you find yourself the only one again who feels totally violated and enraged by this social imbecile’s invasion of your space. .

 

What is scary is how somehow; the intellectual bully keeps getting invited to every event that you get to go to. Though others may find him eccentric, and a bit of a character, or just mildly irritating, only you feel inclined to punch him or smash a chair over his smug, arrogant head or just start screaming at him to go and get fucked.  If you or anyone did. lose your temper with him, he would milk the sympathy of other friends for many years to come, and you would be seen as the bad guy. Such is life.

 

                                                Arthur Chappell

 

Arthur Chappell

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