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                                                                    DRESS CODE

 

Pub bouncers have turned into fashion police

They won't let folks in to drink in peace

For wearing jeans, trainers or baseball caps.

What inspired this disturbing lapse

In reason? Since when was it high treason

To wear comfortable pumps in the pub

Quietly drinking beer and eating grub?

If I'm there when trouble's startin'

I want kickin' with soft-shoes; not Doc Martins.

It's your loss for dictating what I wear

I'll take my humble custom elsewhere

Hope your other punters follow suit;

Treat people like lepers and we'll all shoot

Off to places that'll still let us in

Even when we turn up clad in denim.

It's your loss. I'll wear what I like.

I don't give a toss. Go take a hike.

Arthur Chappell

 

 

 

DRESS CODE - alternative version. 

 

The bouncers wont let me wear what I like

They think they have a nightclub

They told me to go and take a hike

From an ordinary little pub.

I could get in with steel toe-capped boots

And wearing designer business suits

If I was going to give someone a kickin;

Id do more damage with a Doc Martin

Than with my trainers on in there.

It was a good pub once, but now its gone.

They let me in no matter what I had on.

Now Im happy to take my night out elsewhere

In a pub where no one cares what I wear

And I can get in without a tie.

Its a shame when madness makes a good pub die.

 

(The first version of the poem was inspired by a visit to the Wetherspoons Bar in Manchester, (see my web page on PUBS IN MANCHESTER) where they have a dress code normally associated with snobbish night-clubs. I sent a copy of the poem to the pub management. They never replied. Wonder why).

 

 The second draft was written  in an attempt to recapture the first from memory when I couldn't access it. 

 

Arthur Chappell

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