Bruised and abused by her pretend lover
She went off intercourse yet still desired
Comfort and company with another
Man, but she was afraid that he would be fired
By lust disguised as romantic passion
So for many long nights she cried alone
Afraid of inviting any man home.
Fat, old and bald were never in fashion
But desperation drove her to phone me.
I was so terrified that her beauty
Would compel me to seduction or rape
That we lay tense, like sentries on duty,
But there was no danger of an escape
From self-discipline for either of us
In the pleasures of our platonic love.
Kisses were all we shared. Friends on the bus
Ride home gave the rumour machine a shove
Start with scandalous stories about us
But we didn’t care. To us, spending the night
Sleeping together seemed just about right
In the literal sense of the word. Lust
Was what she sought later with one who bust
Her lip and left her pregnant in my arms.
And me scared to take her in case her charms
Made me that monstrous. It would be tragic
If we made love and killed off the magic
that we share. Friends tell me they would make love
To her. "Go on, give ‘er one for me, Guv,"
They say. I prefer sex with her rather
Than ‘To her’. I have ‘made sex’ with other
Girls. Laughter hides our sense of miscarriage
Of Justice in our unconsummated
Non-engagement and unproposed marriage.
"How wasn’t it for you, darling?" I dated
And seduced my other lovers badly
Enough for them to ditch me, so maybe
Sexless sleep will keep her thinking fondly
Of me. Warm between our hearts, her baby
Moves. Will I still be here when s/he is born?
Will we become lovers before the dawn
Or stay close friends keeping each other warm
While still frightened that sex will transform
Us, causing us to drift apart, ending
Something rich, meaningful and rewarding?
We’re both scarred by separation and divorce
Celibacy might make us boring and force
The close of our relationship as surely
As our suppressed desires devour away
Our love for one another. "I agree,"
She says, And with her kiss new love breaks free.
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