THE LITTLE PINK THIEF
Stealing soup is a serious arrestable offence.
Do you have anything to say in your defense?
Answer the questions and stop whistling.
You're in trouble you stupid thing.
Shoplifters always face prosecution,
Even if they have problems with elocution.
But we've found someone who speaks your language.
While we wait for his arrival would you like a sandwich?
Ah! Here he is, our television commentator,
He's kindly agreed to act as your translator.
The pleasant young man from the BBC
Quickly took charge saying, "leave this to me."
After whistling a while, the man gave a wry smile
And informed supermarket security
Of what finally appeared to be
The gist of the soup-thief's case.
The little pink fellow was of another race
From another galaxy in outer space.
He said his real name was Baby Clanger
And his spaceship was hidden in an old aircraft hanger.
His was a world where soup flowed freely underground
They drank it by the gallon, it was just waiting to be found.
Great big soup-dragons looked after the soup
So all the Clangers had to do was scoop
Up what they needed, but warning signs went unheeded.
They ate the lot, and there's hardly any left
A terrible drought left the Clanger world quite bereft,
So they sent their children to seek soup on our planet
Where you have so much good soup that you can it,
And sell it to people through the retail market.
Baby Clanger asked if he could leave now.
The man who had caught him said "That I cannot allow."
So Baby Clanger shook his little pink head
And without warning, shot the store detective dead.
"Seeing as you're of such unreasonable persuasion
Prepare your world for full scale invasion."
The Clangers attacked and stole all our soup
All because one irritating nincompoop
Didn't think it was important enough
Reason to come stealing our stuff
That the Clangers were dying
(Baby Clanger was not lying)
So that's our story and it might sound corny
Of how Earth died screaming for Mulligatawny.
© Copyright. Arthur
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