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THE LITTLE PINK THIEF 

Stealing soup is a serious arrestable offence.

Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Answer the questions and stop whistling.

You're in trouble you stupid thing.

Shoplifters always face prosecution,

Even if they have problems with elocution.

But we've found someone who speaks your language.

While we wait for his arrival would you like a sandwich?

Ah! Here he is, our television commentator,

He's kindly agreed to act as your translator.

The pleasant young man from the BBC

Quickly took charge saying, "leave this to me."

After whistling a while, the man gave a wry smile

And informed supermarket security

Of what finally appeared to be

The gist of the soup-thief's case.

The little pink fellow was of another race

From another galaxy in outer space.

He said his real name was Baby Clanger

And his spaceship was hidden in an old aircraft hanger.

His was a world where soup flowed freely underground

They drank it by the gallon, it was just waiting to be found.

Great big soup-dragons looked after the soup

So all the Clangers had to do was scoop

Up what they needed, but warning signs went unheeded.

They ate the lot, and there's hardly any left

A terrible drought left the Clanger world quite bereft,

So they sent their children to seek soup on our planet

Where you have so much good soup that you can it,

And sell it to people through the retail market.

Baby Clanger asked if he could leave now.

The man who had caught him said "That I cannot allow."

So Baby Clanger shook his little pink head

And without warning, shot the store detective dead.

"Seeing as you're of such unreasonable persuasion

Prepare your world for full scale invasion."

The Clangers attacked and stole all our soup

All because one irritating nincompoop

Didn't think it was important enough

Reason to come stealing our stuff

That the Clangers were dying

(Baby Clanger was not lying)

So that's our story and it might sound corny

Of how Earth died screaming for Mulligatawny.

Copyright. Arthur Chappell        

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