URBAN LEGEND IN MY OWN LIFETIME
I had my bollocks torn off by a short
Sighted owl. I put Vaseline and glue
Side by side. Thatís why I got myself caught
With a chicken still stuck up my arse. You
Claimed it was a friend of a friend of yours
I donít know you!. Who are you anyway?
While I took a slash in the great outdoors
That bird of prey snatched my goolies away.
You exploit my fowl-play, making yourself
Sound cool, reducing all my misfortune
To fictions less likely than those on elves
And fairies, so my stress makes me balloon
Out in weight to forty-two stone. Carrot
Only diets seemed well worth trying out....
Now Iím a fat orange skinned idiot
And you have something new to laugh about.
© Copyright. Arthur Chappell
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