YOU HAVE TO QUAGMIRE SOME PEOPLE.

Masochists have taken to the great outdoors.

Whatever the weather, they’re out on The Moors.

The bogs they need are nowhere at hand

But there’s bogs they can’t flush: Pennine quicksand.

Boneless brown jelly - Oh, concrete it over.

Protect the hapless hill walker and rover.

There’s only one safe path by which to get past:

You walk on the heads of those who sank last.

Mae West and wellies to be worn at all times

And Bondi Beach lifeguards to patrol the Pennines.

Arthur Chappell

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