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                                                                                                SLOW MOVING PEOPLE 

 

There are people whose only purpose in life is to be an obstruction and a living pedestrian bollard. Though young and able bodied, (wheelchair, Zimmer frame and walking stick users being an exception to the rule) they move at a slouching slothful pace directly in front of you, and if you try to overtake to left or right of them they somehow manage to stay in your path. They step forward as if someone is in their way though they are themselves the only obstacle on the pavement.

 

Sometimes, the hindrances will walk towards you, and though there is plenty of space either side of you they will somehow move directly at you in a way that makes you thank the gods they are not driving if you take evasive action, they will manage to move left or right in sync with you. They do not apologise for getting in your way and you may even find yourself inexplicably apologising to them instead.

 

A variation on the theme is the loving couple that hold hands and expecting you to walk round them rather than for them to briefly release their romantic grip to step either side of you. Do they actually think that not being Siamese twins for even a second will mean that their relationship is doomed and that the partner will make use of the release to run off and never be seen again? I imagine them encountering a tree and waiting for it to fall over so they can continue their journey without having to separate.

 

 

Arthur Chappell

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